we were educated from young that there are so much things in our lives that we are not allowed to do, for instance, as a kid, we were constantly reminded not to touch the boiler when it's boiling water, or not to play with matches whenever wherever. every time i'm told so, i've always have this sense of dissatisfaction deep down in my heart. why can't i do this, why can't i kick his butt, why can't i light the matches? it's so beautiful, it's like a magic, i wan magic~~~
but i never get to see those magics.... because i've always an obedient boy. not because that i'm such a good mama's boy, but i do detest the caning process if i break any of the rules. however, when i grow bit by bit, my curiosity grows as well and those not-to-do list are no longer not to be done. the boiling pot is extremely hot, yet i touch it. what i get is not just burns on my skin but also the sense of satisfaction. at least i know what is it to feel like when i touch a boiling pot... i may cry for pain but i do lessen some tights in my heart and that thruthfully relieves me. i guess it's always a joy to do wat the heart tell us to do.
but as we grow, things become more complicated. it's no longer the "listentotheheartthingy". in every steps u made, u need to be fully responsible, and that responsible is so great that sometimes it would leave a deep cut in ur heart for a long long time. so we think far more, we consider a lot of factors influencing, and we ponder too much a thing at a time. jobs, financial status, friends, future are becoming parts of the consideration in every thing we do, or even think, so sometimes it's always a better choice just to step down, pace down, and to ponder again and again, and again n again, until something is actualli over, then we'll have a more peaceful life, but maybe some regrets. i duno... shud i invest on shares? ( juz to be side-tracked )
